How to Respond to Naysayers

Naysayers are those people that try to talk you out of your dreams or tell you that your vision for something is too big. The actual definition is; one who denies, refuses, opposes, or is skeptical or cynical about something. How do you respond to these people?

It is very discouraging to share your vision with others and they tell you all the reasons why it is impossible. As soon as you finish talking you see a shift in their body and attitude; then here comes the list. You need money to that, when will you have the time, someone is already doing that, you’re too old to change careers, and the list goes on. Sometimes the naysaying is not verbal, but you can see it in their actions; they don’t share in your joy, they change the subject whenever you bring it up, or they aren’t sharing your products with others.

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The Image of God

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. -Genesis 1:27-

When God created mankind, He created us in his image. He made sure to identify that He was referring to both male and female so that there was no confusion as to who He was specifically talking to. An image is a likeness of a person so therefore when God created us, he created us to be like Him.

The Decision-Ending It All

This blog is a part of a three-part series, it will give the reader an inside look at my journey to home ownership. I am sharing this to help those who battle with trusting God and having faith that He will work it out. Thank you for taking this journey with me and please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss this!

On Sunday, July 14, 2019, I decided it was time to end my marriage. We have been married almost nine years and the marriage was empty, just two people coexisting. I often hear people say you should stay and work it out but that takes two people; not one person praying it’ll get better and the other carrying on like nothing is happening around them. There are many reasons I could use to justify leaving my marriage but in the end it all came down to one thing…. I needed to choose me. I needed to choose the things I wanted for my life. I needed to choose my happiness and that’s exactly what I did. I chose me.

Loving my (gay) son

My son is gay. He has been going through a lot over the past few years and I often questioned why it is so easy for me to love him and others have such a hard time. He has been talked about, made to feel less than, and he has been condemned by people who claim they love him.

I think I have known longer than anyone that he was gay, and I never had a problem accepting him. We have been through many transitions over the years and I have always loved and encouraged him through it. I am a Christian, I do my best to follow God’s word daily, but me being a Christian does not mean I cannot love and accept my son for who he is. He once asked me “if God knew us before He formed us in the womb, why did He make me gay?” He was trying to gain some understanding because people were telling him God would never accept him, yet this is the way he came into the world.

I use to feel the need to defend every negative comment about homosexual people because I felt like they needed someone defending them against people who don’t really understand that this wasn’t necessarily a choice for them. I also felt like I needed to defend my son. This was exhausting, I soon realized that I couldn’t defend everyone, I could only be there to encourage, support, and guide my son. My son always has and will always have a safe place when it comes to me.

When he has questions, I do my best to answer them. When he is confused, I do my best to make things clear.  When he wants to vent, I listen. When he cries, I console and encourage. When he wants to learn the new Beyoncé dance, I am there right beside him. When he feels alone, I am his friend. I cherish these moments. Not just with him but with all my children. They know if they don’t have anyone else in this world, they have their mom.

On Friday, I was on my way home and it was one of those moments where I just need some peace and quiet to clear my mental space. I asked the question again; “why is it so easy for me to love my gay son” and the answer I got cleared everything up. It is easy for me because I loved him before I knew he was gay. I’ll say that again; I loved him before I knew he was gay. Nothing about my son changed when he told me he was gay, he was and is the same child I gave birth to, the same child I raised, the same child that loved me when I wasn’t “perfect.” Nothing changed about my child.

Many people focus on the fact that they are gay, that it is a sin, the lifestyle is not accepting, it isn’t normal. Well that wasn’t for me to decide, my decision was to love, support, and cherish my son. I often tell people that when I get to the gates of heaven I will not have to answer for my son being gay, I will have to answer for how I treated my son.

My son has struggled with his Christian beliefs for a while now because of what people tell him about the bible and how God feels about him. I encourage him to read, get to know the bible and God for himself. Even in his disbelief I prayed for him and made sure to keep him in church. At a young age my son has experienced God and His love, and he now believes again. Some people live life lost because they have no one standing in the gap for them. I was not having this for my child. I prayed for him constantly, I talked to him, and when I felt him getting off track I asked God for guidance. Before I give my son any sound advice I pray first, because I know one wrong word and I become like everyone else who has torn him down.

In closing, what I really want everyone reading this to get out of this message is that nothing that we do can separate us from the love of God (Romans 38-39) and there is nothing my children can do that can make me stop loving them. They grow, they change, they make mistakes, but they know I will always be there with open arms. The bible tells us we should love our neighbors, like we love ourselves. It doesn’t distinguish between race, gender, age, spiritual beliefs, or sexual orientation; it clearly states love your neighbors. Loving my son is easy because I loved him before he ever knew what being gay meant.

As always, thank you for reading. Please feel free to leave a comment or contact me through the contact card, found in the drop-down menu.   

I Am Different

I am different, not like 2 Chains different, but I have changed. I am a different person.

Almost a year ago I decided to really follow God, I mean really follow. I decided to let go of my wants, desires, hopes, and dreams and follow his will for my life. I had a lot of hopes and big dreams but I realized none of what I wanted was important if I wasn’t living in the will of God. At first, I was fearful, I didn’t know what to expect. Would I be tested like Job, would I fall short of God’s glory, would I never live the life I desired, or would the devil come after my children (my biggest fear).

I knew with this new journey that I was about to embark on I was going to be tested, I just didn’t know what that looked like. On this journey I have lost so much but my attitude, as hard as it was, was it’s going to be okay God is control. Overtime I started to see a change, I feel conflicted when I curse, some of the things I use to enjoy irritates me, I work hard to have meaningful relationships, and I seek God in all I do. My conversations with God are different and I listen more for his voice.

With this journey came many other changes, I constantly seek God’s presence. I am constantly reading my bible so that I can better understand. I share my experiences no matter how crazy they may seem. When I say I know God and I love God I feel it now and I mean it. I worry less, stress less, and argue less because I know God is in control. He goes before me and make crooked places straight and he prepares a table before my enemies.

The biggest change that I experienced and the one that I cherish the most is with my faith. I used to say God can do the impossible because it sounded good, now I know without a shadow of a doubt that He can do the impossible, that he still performs miracles. I have so much faith in God it has become contagious, my children are believing that God is going to answer all our prayers. My husband no longer says if, but when. My friends believe. This is so amazing to me. My daughter, 7 years old, talks about God more than I do.

I am different, and it is amazing. I love what God is doing in my life and I pray he continues to use me. The journey was hard in the beginning, but it made me conscious of my behaviors and I have a joy and a peace that surpasses all understanding, and for that I am so grateful. I am human I have my days, but in those days, I feel God’s gentle correction and that is so special to me.

If you have had an experience with God that you would like to share, I would love to read about it in the comments below.